Weekly Message – 4-1-2011

Traumatic Events in Our Lives

 

What can I say.  I really do try to listen when members ask for prayers and I try to pray for them and all the other members as well because I know for every member who asks for prayer there are others who don’t ask.  We are all brothers and sisters in this church.  We need to be able to turn to turn to each other when things occur in our life that make us feel overwhelmed and that threaten our very core and faith. We have all been going through some traumatic times lately.  Think of the recent prayer requests.  CoIC members have been facing job loss, health issues, relationships falling apart, death of loved ones, not to mention the economy with its inflation, and the news of natural disasters and fights for freedom around the world that we are all experiencing.

 

Let’s face it, traumatic events and emotional wounds can greatly disturb or penetrate our stability. They can shake our very souls and even challenge our spirituality. Some will lose their faith during such times while others will somehow find faith in the midst of tragedy.  Survival is difficult, but survival is possible!  I read a recent article that pointed out things we should do to help survive the traumatic and emotional events in our lives.  The article was entitled “When Life Breaks Apart” by J. LeBron McBride.  It was published in the 2011 Spring Edition of the Plain Truth magazine.

 

Traumatic events such as 9/11 (which is still on all our minds) or the recent natural disasters in Japan e such as the earthquake and tsunami can reach out and grab us even from such a great distance.  Now we are concerned with the after effects around the world which include nuclear radiation.  Even when trauma is in a faraway place, it can greatly shake our lives. Most of us, fortunately, will never be in a horrific natural disaster or terrorist attack.  However, most of us will at some time face emotional and other wounds that, while obviously are not of the same magnitude, will disturb our peace. Such incidents can cause us to feel helpless, overwhelmed, and disoriented. Relationship dissolution, divorce, chronic or terminal illness, disability, loss of loved ones, assault, military combat, betrayal, rejection, loss of employment, loss of home, and on and on we could go with the stressors that can toss dynamite-like upheaval into our lives. Following the article I will cover 10 items which are not solutions in themselves but will help us to survive these traumatic times in our life better.

 

How Can We Survive?

 

During such times, there may be no words found, only terrifying silence. There may be screams or groans from deep within. A bit later we may use phases that convey our disruption and disbelief— sayings that include: “My world turned upside down!”

“The bottom fell out!” “I was at the end of my rope!” “I could not believe my eyes!” “He or she betrayed my trust.” How can we survive? How do we live through such events or circumstances? There are certainly no easy answers or simple solutions, however the following may be of assistance in surviving the psychological trauma that comes upon us, or it may assist you in helping someone else going through such a troubling time.

 

1.     Find Support

The research is clear regarding the importance of support from others during difficult

times. We are social creatures and it is in community and relationship that we find a healing womb. While there are some events we want to keep to ourselves, we all need to selectively share with trusted persons who can be like a beacon of orientation when our world is crumbling under our feet. This can help us get our bearings again.  While this may mean turning to others in your church family it also may mean getting counseling and attending support groups.  I realize this is an individual’s decision to make but some support groups can be very helpful.

 

2.     Normalize Feelings

When tragedy strikes we can feel as if we are losing our minds. It helps to know that emotional trauma can send us on an emotional roller coaster and all sorts of feelings can be part of a normal human reaction. Our reactions may also be based on events that have already occurred in our lives.  We may be calm and then the next minute

feel a wave of anxiety; we may think we are doing okay and then later the same day feel like we are falling apart. All of this can be the mind attempting to catch up and process what has happened. Of course, if suicidal or homicidal plans become a part of our thinking we need to get immediate help from a professional or go to a hospital emergency room.

 

3.     Follow Routines

My mother always said to me, “Get up and get busy even if it is cleaning house.”    We need to work (literally) through our troubles and not let depression sink in.  It is very easy when distraught to want to sit around and obsess about whatever is bothering us. However, as far as possible, it is often best to attempt to follow our usual routines and activities. The routines and habits of our lives can act to help ground us—the familiar helps us to stabilize. Normal activities can be healthy distractions for short periods of time.

 

4.     Put Words to Feelings

As stated above, in some cases there are no words to describe what happens during trauma. On the other hand, as soon as we can give voice to our hurts and pains it assists us in processing them and sharing our feelings. In some cases, there are those who do not speak of their pain and the body may then give voice to the pain by

physical problems and illnesses. Talk provides a relief valve to the pressure cooker of emotions that build up during emotional turmoil.  Writing our feelings down helps as well whether it is in a personal journal or an article to share with others.

 

5.     Be Physically Active

One of the best antidotes for dealing with intense emotion and agitation is exercise. Walk and walk and walk some more or do some other physical activity that you are used to. Exercise and physical activity can help you gain perspective and find more calmness. The body needs exercise to balance the physical stimulation caused by trauma.

 

6.     Watch Your Diet

Being careful with our diet is something that most of us struggle with even during good times, but it is essential to pay attention to receiving nourishment during difficult times. Some will lose their appetite and that can be normal, but making sure to get enough nourishment (maybe even add a one a day vitamin) and water is important.  Others of us will have a desire to load up on junk (comfort) food or eat too much during emotionally stressful times. Remember too much caffeine and sugar can increase anxiety. Balance is the key. Strive for balance.

 

7.     Stay With the Pain

We do not like pain whether it is physical or emotional, and some seek to avoid any pain at all cost. Some turn to substances like alcohol and other drugs, some to new sexual encounters, some to gambling or high risk behaviors, some to the numbing of overeating as just mentioned, and yet others over-work to avoid emotional pain. It is

important to gradually deal in a healthy manner with what has happened and to face the pain. Otherwise it catches us by surprise later and/or raises its head in some destructive way.  Whatever we do, it is important not to “stuff it down.”

 

     8.     Find Healthy Escapes

Denial sometimes gets a bad rap, but it is an important defense and protective mechanism. We often cannot absorb all of a traumatic event or emotional upheaval at once. However, if we seek to bury our heads in the sand and deny that events ever happened or pretend circumstances do not exist it can become dysfunctional. It is

important to find healthy escapes from the intensity of trauma as we are able to do so. This may involve going away to the beach or the mountains, or camping in the forest, at some point and finding other healthy maneuvers such as getting involved in community service and helping others.

 

9.     Address Belief Issues

Trauma can be a profound challenge to our belief systems. Maybe we felt that God would not allow such an event or circumstance to come upon us. We may feel betrayed by a person we trusted and now we do not know if we can believe in anyone or believe what anyone tells us. As healing progresses, it is important to spend some time integrating our beliefs, which may mean that we find new ways of understanding and explaining.

 

We may even have a new development or transition in what or how we believe. Spirituality can be a vital way of helping us transcend the immediate crisis and

take a larger view or an eternal perspective. Just remember that doubts, questions and struggles can all be a normal part of life and, especially, dealing with disappointment and emotional stress. In our faith realizing that even Christ suffered and was exposed to horrific treatment can help bring comfort. Christ cried from the cross, “My God, my God why have you forsaken me?” and struggled to see the Father in the darkness. Christ understands.

 

10.  Don’t Give Up

When the terrible happens, when it appears there is no hope and when life suddenly changes, don’t throw in the towel! Give yourself time to cope and time to heal. There are those who have been through your experience and have survived—and many have survived well. Growth and new perspectives may arise that will enrich your life greatly even though you may feel like your life is breaking apart at this moment. Don’t give up; you can survive!

 

The CoIC is starting up the Prayer Warrior Group again.  Those who want to volunteer and be Prayer Warriors let me know.  We will be putting a form on our website for people to type their requests for prayers in.  We will monitor it and only submit genuine prayer requests to the group.  For the CoIC members though you can always call on your church family by asking for prayers right here on the group.

 

Blessings, Rev. Sharra