The sunflower was chosen as the symbol of the Spiritualist Church for many reasons

For some reason I keep finding myself re-engaging the idea of paradoxes every time I speak here.  Honestly, in my experience it is a very spiritual concept – contradictions enlightening us.  I think it is a way to keep us from always thinking in a linear direction.

Anyway, we need to educate ourselves, gather perspectives from all over the world and from as many disciplines as possible.  The Australian Aborigines have a saying, “We are all visitors to this time, this place.  We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love… and then we return home. ”  We need to learn from as many other spirits as possible.  And where is spirit?   Everywhere in everything.  There is a tree in Indonesia that has a truth that will broaden our understanding, likewise a girl in Pakistan, a cave in New Mexico, a mountain in Denali, an orangutan in Sumatra, a cat in Austin, Texas.  She lives with me.  Her message is “Feel the pleasure of every moment, and if you are bothering me, leave me alone.”

So we need to absorb truth wherever we find it, and we can find it everywhere.  So when we are needed to communicate a message to someone, Spirit will  have a broader vocabulary and imagery to use.  Here’s the paradox:  let’s educate ourselves, broaden our minds, then let’s put aside all our knowledge and listen as if that is our only ability, a mere avenue for wisdom beyond our comprehension.  So we learn massive information and then get out of the way.  Our words, the pictures in our heads are the threads used to weave the message.  One of messages I hear for myself the most is “Stop thinking so much – like you are going to figure everything out!  You don’t need to.”

Of course, we start by purifying the instrument.  Sonia has spoken often of opening up chakras and clearing energy – always a good idea.  As you all know I’m also a fan of filling oneself up with the spiritual fire within each of us.    It burns off all the extraneous distractions that get in the way of being a clear vessel for our spirit.

Why do we need purifying?  Our spirits, our energy gets cluttered and tangled.  All of us have had times when we have felt knotted up inside.

We are in this world, because it is challenging.  Those challenges can cause stress, illness, confusion, panic, misplaced priorities, and fight or flight reflexes, among others.  So, we need to be aware of our sensitive areas.  We know this right?   Each of us volunteered to have an intimate knowledge of some particular kinds of human struggles.   I will paraphrase Akemi at the Facebook page Akashic Records.  Before we are born, we sign up to have certain imperfections in the same way that when we play a game, there are certain limitations to make the game more challenging and more interesting.  So we need to accept those imperfections, those challenges without making them the anchor of our identity.  So whatever your greatest struggle is, please remember that is not the entirety of who you are, it is a small part of who you are.  If you are here, I hope you realize you are infinite brilliance, love, light, and holiness. If that thought hits us like a board upside the head, then we have over-identified with our existence in this life.  We have to remember who we are:  infinite brilliance, love, light, and holiness.

So, back to where I was headed before.   Linear thought is one of my challenges, but I’ll try.  Each of us volunteered to have an intimate knowledge of some particular kinds of human struggles.  So whether we go through it ourselves or journey with one who does, it makes us more compassionate.  It makes us more sensitive in every sense of the word: more compassionate and more touchy.

We are each responsible for knowing those sensitive spots.  Psychology calls them “buttons.”  Sometimes someone pushes our buttons and we want to hold up a sign that says, “You have now walked into a minefield.  Step carefully.”  Usually, what we say is “What did you mean by that?!”  When someone says that to you, just know you have stepped into a minefield.  Either gently back up or if you are like me, you become gently curious.  Whoa, why did you react that way?  Were you aware of this minefield or do we need to do some digging – set off some bombs and find out what is underneath.  “What do you mean?!”  Over-reactions are the road signs of sensitive areas.  They are a gift.  Honestly, I see them as an opportunity for healing and acceptance.  Hi, Wound, I didn’t know you were there.  I accept you, Wound, and I will do what I can to bring you healing.  AND I will acknowledge when you are interfering with my being able to perceive a situation clearly.

I’ve told y’all that a few years ago, I served a church where 2-3 months after I arrived, 6 members dramatically left the church with flourish and timpani.  I managed to push buttons on 6 people at one time!  I hadn’t been there long enough to really offend anyone, so I knew this was not about me.  They were looking for a reason to leave.  We all got to learn about releasing people in love and letting them know they are welcome back any time.  We had several conversations about not having control over other people, but choosing who we are in any given situation.

but mostly because it turns toward the sun as “Spiritualism turns toward the light of truth”.

Anyway, getting back to sensitive spots.  I’ll use one of my own as an example.  I still have plenty.  If you want to get a reaction out of me, it is really simple – just tell me how you went out partying with lots of people and got absolutely plastered.  This is one of my buttons.  I own it, am aware of it, and I will tell you why.  All these internal buttons have a back story.  This one is a difficult story, I will tell you upfront.  Coming home from work at the age of 19, I escaped an attempted rape, and from that experience I became more compassionate toward women who suffered sexual assault.  I have known 3 women who were raped and became pregnant.   Two of the women had similar stories:  They had gone to a party, got drunk, and then were raped, and became pregnant.  All of them struggled to figure out what to do next. Each of them handled the situation differently, but did what was right for them.  So, my button is called:  young women who go out drinking without being careful.  I have another button called: people who take advantage of vulnerable people, but that’s another story.

I have heard many painful stories of people getting drunk with horrible  consequences.  Parents who go out partying and drinking:  I have a special button just for you.  I have seen too many kids suffer, and they just don’t have the emotional endurance that comes with life experience.  By the way, I don’t have a problem with alcohol.  I am just a huge fan of moderation.

So here is our challenge, someone is talking to us, because we are kind, compassionate souls, and they say something that pushes one of our buttons.  The minefield alert goes off:  “What do you mean by that?”  In that moment, we have to take a step back and remind ourselves that among our identities is that of being a wounded healer.

We need to know our wounds and how they affect us.  This is not personal.  This is knowing your instrument.  You know the quirks of your car.  In high school, I had a car that honked every time it turned right.  The fact that I was 17 and driving a 10 year old station wagon wasn’t enough.  It had to honk on its own, so everyone would notice.  The Lesson:  There is more to you than being a self-conscious 17 year old, and be grateful you have wheels that roll.

We are all quirky.  We need to know our quirks.  If you don’t know yours, ask a friend or relative – they’ll make you a list.  What are our blind spots, minefields, unhealed wounds, blind devotions, and prejudices?  By the way, I have never met someone who wasn’t prejudiced about something.  (Being intolerant of intolerant people is a prejudice, because we do not see that there is more to them than their intolerance.)

Not everyone has had the same experiences you have had or I have had.   If they have, they did not interpret them the same way.  We all have a unique bias.  We must our embrace our bias, our growing edges, our temptations to jump to conclusions – they are a gateway to understanding humanity.  Pain has a logic all its own.

Seriously.  My husband took my daughter up in a glass elevator at Six Flags.  It went straight up to an observation deck.  He got to the top, sat down on the floor of the elevator and said, “I’m sorry.  I must leave now.  I can’t handle this.  We have to go back down.”  It is what it is.  He still does not know why he freaks out in high places.  If it ever becomes a priority, he will address that issue.  It is not a priority right now.  We all have our quirks, and he actually is an amazing healer.

We teach through our struggles.  We are compassionate, because of our struggles.  We love, because we need love for our own nourishment and healing.  It is in healing others that we are healed.  We can create our own healing, but we don’t do that as much as we need to.  So we bring our sad, pitiful, achy selves to another person, open our spirits as an avenue for healing and find healing for ourselves in the process.

So many of us believe the myth that we need to have our act together to be helpful.  No, we don’t, and by the way, no one has their act together.  It’s a ruse, to throw you off the track.  I am almost to the point of thinking when I see someone who is perfectly polished and put-together: “What are you hiding?”  The most helpful people are those who listen and are present and respect that receiving someone’s story is an honor – handle with care.  That requires nothing more than loving the person in front of us.

While we are helping people, we need to not care about what we think is right or not, based on our experience and knowledge.  We may be speaking to the person who needs to spend a year living in a tree.  We can all think of  50 reasons why that is a bad idea, but it is perfect for that person.

Our biggest job as spiritualists is to teach people how to listen in love to their highest, holiest selves.  If you can go to a mirror and look into your own face – knowing what you know about yourself – and say “Hello, Sweetheart.  I love you.” – then you can hear the words of love from your own spirit, from others, and from the Source of all Love that flows through all spirits.

So, it is true:  love is all you need.
Kristine Brantley-Gearhart